4thought.tv

I am white british and my husband asian. We have been married for 32 years. We have 4 children. Every parent raises a child the best way they can, with mistakes and with advantages. Children from every family will have these advantages and disadvantages passed to them. It is life. It is more important that the children are loved. Dont go looking for problems. They will always be there no matter what background or race. Focus on the positive. Get real and make the best of things. Children will often find the weak spots and say things later in life they wished you had done differently, no matter what ethnicity, social class or background. They have a home, they have people that care about them. Its the best we can do. Enjoy and be happy.

As a social worker I am taught that correctly matching a child's ethnicity to those of the parents is of upmost importance, personally I believe if the parents can ensure to teach a child of their background -both biological and their adopted, then correctly matching can be avoided, if the parents are loving and can provide a good secure home.

Coming from a mixed race background, what Chris had to say was indeed what I said to my father, on more than one occasion. He coming from India and my mother coming from Scotland. I wished that I could communicate with my relatives in Hindi, unfortunately, my father, had forgotten all of his mother tongue. Therefore, I was brought up completely "British" with very little knowledge of my Indian identity. So don't think that you have failed your daughter, it happens even in mixed race families.

I and my wife are white English. We were lucky enough to be able to adopt, in 1984, a black 12 year old black girl whose natural parents were a German white female and a Nigerian black male whom the girl had never known. She only spoke English because she spent most of her life in England and USA in white or a mixed race environment. We did meet some social workers who believed that white persons should not be allowed to adopt black children. They, presumably, were going to wait until a German/Nigerian couple were going to turn up. But others thought it was not sensible to be dogmatic about the direction at the time that "White parents should not adopt non-white children" and the county court judge agreed.

I think it is sad that pehaps the mistakes that were made in the past when placing children of Black Asian or other ethnic backgrounds with white parents still influences peoples views.
I'm a mixed race Anglo/Asian women and was brought up by my white mother and had no contact till my teens with the asian community, I can understand and identify with many of those who grew up in families where they felt their own identity wasn't fully reflected. However I think times have changed, in the 50's 60's and 70's children who were adopted into those familes may very well like myself feel they were isolated and displaced they had no access to cultural role models, there were few postive images of ethnic minoriteies in the Media.
We now live in a more mutliculturally diverse society and I would hope anyone who embarked on adoption of a child from a different culture from them, would be more sensitive and aware of the differences and embrace these and take some time to understand the herritage of the child they were adopting and give the child access to that culture.
I think we have perhaps moved too far in the opposite direction where children with complex herritages often wait for years to find adoptive parents. Myself and my Partner who is white were turned down from adopting children of either Mixed race Asian or White background, when I asked why I was told my background was just not Asian enough to qualify, I was effectively told by two agencies I was just too white, when I asked about adopting a white child i was told my ethnic background would be too confusing.
I think you should look at placing children with the right parents of course, but does that always mean the same race. Many of these kids end up being placed with white foster parents for years anyway so whats better a permanant parent/parents who can offer stability and love to a child or the colour of someones skin.
I'm now expecting my own child but would still like to adopt in the future but I fear until views change it will not be possible

We are all humen beings

This makes me feel sad. I learned something from it.

Watching these clips was thought provoking, greatly appreciated but way overdue. I am a black Foster carer brought up in a small town in the first black family to arrive. I feel having my cultural identity helped me cope with all kinds of adversity. Over ten years we as a black foster family have fostered white, black and mixed raced children. We believe every child should have a loving secure permanent family but where possible a child should be placed with a family of a similar race and culture because I feel only then can they truly understand how the child feels about their identity.

Really interesting perspective. What is most important is that the children have a loving family home life.

This makes me feel sad. I learned something from it.

This makes me feel sad and poignant.

he very much echos what I feel although I would love to think that love conquers all, there is the reality of identity and colour. Good intentions are not enough

As an adopted child who has had children I feel a child who later on in life wants to meet, or know more about their natural parents should be allowed to because there are many different issued that may need to be resolved.

What does his daughter mean they haven't given her any culture? Isn't British a culture?